I got a text from the mother of the guy I tutor, and apparently he didn’t have enough homework this week, so that left me with three hours between school and dance to gorge on lactose products. Yay.
I know I tend to binge more when I am unpreoccupied, like today (apple crumble with vanilla sauce, three cheese sandwiches, lentil soup that was ment to be my healthy dinner between work and dance, and a whole sea salt chocolate bar) and yesterday when I was sick (two Guld Nougat bars, one B&J’s Half Baked and a grilled cheese sandwich).
This sucks double balls when I do it with junk that has lactose, since if I continue I could develope gluten intolerance which can lead to a bunch of other lovely things like paralysation and cancer. Fun.
I really need to not eat lactose, even when I binge, because it can cause bigger problems than an (EXTREMELY) bloated stomach and the possibility of more excessive fat.
So my game plan:
1. Get back into the habit of drinking a bottle of water every class to prevent bingeing
2. Swear off lactose completely, including at other people’s houses and lactose-free food
3. Even if I binge, it will not have a trace of lactose in it because I will remind myself that I don’t want cancer (which reminds me that I need to buy sunscreen)
4. Check everything I eat for lactose. For real this time!
I keep yo-yoing between methods and opinions when it comes to my food and how I think about it, but I need to get this lactose thing under control first I think.
Side note: I fail at life today; I dropped my phone so the battery fell out and forgot to rest the alarm, so it goes off at 1am, but I snooze until 2am, and do the same at 7am til 8am, miss my first train, think I just caught my second train but infact it was pulling out of the station, not arriving. That is a math lesson and psort doctor appointment down the drain. Good job deepsleeperandnotammorningperson.
Tomorrow is a new day, and I’m going to talk to the therapist again, so hopefully that will help with school or food or motivation. Weight training should help too.
Fit for Me, Fit for Life.